going home for the summer
Posted : June 3, 2005
Last Updated : April 9, 2015
Going home for summer break may be hard to get used to since you have been living without a lot of rules all school-year long. Your parents may want you home at a certain time, but you are used to coming and going whenever you please. Your parents may not want you sleeping until 1pm every day, but you feel that you deserve a break since you worked so hard throughout the school year. These kinds of disagreements can easily escalate into full-blown fights and make summer break disastrous for everyone involved. Here is how to prevent arguments with your parents and have an enjoyable summer break.
Initiate discussion. If you go home for summer break and your parents treat you like a child, ask if they have time to sit down and discuss some independence issues you are having. By having an adult conversation with them, they will realize that you aren't a child anymore and should start treating you like a responsible adult.
Compromise. Having an adult relationship with your parents means being able to compromise. If your parents want you home by curfew, try to bargain with them by telling them you will call when you are going to be late. If your parents let you borrow the family car, show that you appreciate their gesture by pitching in on household chores.
Show respect. You should treat your parents with the same degree of courtesy as you would anyone else with whom you were living. That means you should pick up after yourself and turn down the volume on your radio or TV while others are sleeping. If you show your parents respect, they will more than likely treat you like an adult and allow you more privileges.
Appreciate your parents' concerns. When your parents treat you like a child and try to enforce rules upon you, they are doing it for your well-being. They want you to be safe. Even though you may not like the fact that they worry so much about you, try to understand from where they are coming. You would be worried about your parents if they weren't home by 4 in the morning, wouldn't you?
Spend quality time with your parents. When you come home for the summer, your parents want to spend time with you. Try to make time for them and don't spend your whole summer hanging out with friends. You should be able to adjust your schedule so you can spend time with all the people you care about, including parents, siblings, old friends, and new friends. Spending quality time with your parents is crucial in forming an adult relationship with them.
If you are going home for the summer, you may find that you run into a few confrontations with your parents because they want you to follow the same rules of the household as you did before you went away to college. By following the tips listed above, not only will you avoid conflict with your parents, but you will also show them that you should be treated like a responsible adult.